Now What?

    It's been over five years since I wrote my last blog. A lot has happened since then. Rick retired. I retired. We spent our Covid days in the woods that surrounds our forty acres. And in those five years we tried to enjoy retirement with each other. After Covid, life returned. Then with no warnings and no symptoms to make us suspicious that something terrible was about to change our lives, Rick was diagnosed with cancer. After finding a lump on his back and a trip to his doctor, we got the diagnosis that everyone dreads. The big C. It was clear cell carcinoma. While I prefer not to relive those horrible four months, let me just say my precious man passed away at home on December 10th at 11:19pm. It took the coroner and the funeral home several hours before they could collect his body. It was about 2am before I left for the home we were living in at that time. We had moved into Jenny Reynolds house on Berry Drive in Minden. We had to live near emergency services during those four months of his life. After I retreated to our temporary home in Minden, I woke up to a phone call from our son, Ben. We were expected to meet up at the funeral home that morning to make arrangements for his cremation. Ben asked if I knew what spirit animal Rick said he would come back as. With out hesitation, I said "a moth." "Why do you ask?" . "Nathalie remembers that too, " he said. Nathalie, 

    Ben's girlfriend of five years had traveled with us to our cabin in the Ozarks. On many of our trips to the cabin, I would usually come up with some kind of 'what if' question. Rick found it annoying and I did it anyway.... mostly because he was funny when he we annoyed by me. I obviously asked what his spirit animal was. He quickly responded, "Oh hell, I don't know...a moth!" I asked Ben why he asked me that question at this time. "Mom, there was a moth hoovering over Dad's head last night and it's still there. "I took at photo of it and I am going to send it to you. You are not going to believe. I did not alter the photo. This is exactly what it looked like."

     He sent me the photo and I cried. It was a moth, but it had two heart eyes and a hug smile. Exactly how Rick would have wanted us to remember him. 
    That moth brought so much comfort. I have shared that story with close friends. I have come to look for more signs from the Universe. And I found more. But that's for another story. 

BTW~ I did not use AI for this story and it probably shows. But I don't care. While I could have sounded more intelligent, I chose to be me.