Bumps in the Road

I was only seventeen when I graduated from Doyline in 1969. I registered at Louisiana Tech University for the fall quarter that same year. I moved into my dorm room at Pearce Hall that summer. Being the over achiever that I am, I ran for dorm president and won. Now that I look back, it was an easy win because nobody really wanted the job. But I was proud I got it and I was eager to serve.

My major was in advertising design and most of my early classes were all art classes. I took drawing and design and made A’s in everything art related. General studies was another story. The last real art class I took was when I lived in France. I really didn’t have much experience in technique but I did have a natural talent that came through in my drawings and design work.

I signed up for my first painting class. I had never painted before other than a few watercolors and tempera paintings when I was in the 7th grade. But I was eager to see how I would do since I had done so well in all my other art classes. I don’t remember the teacher’s name but he was a young teacher. Every Tuesday and Thursday mornings at 7:30am, I would drag myself out of bed to make my way to the studio. I was so eager to learn.

On the first week, it was obvious which students had come from schools with an arts curriculum. They knew instantly what to do and how to do it. I on the other hand had to ask questions. Lots of questions. My eagerness to do well spilled over into my off time. I spent many hours painting. I didn’t miss any classes. I turned in all my assignments. But I could tell that there was something wrong. When it came time to critique our work, the teacher never seemed to like what I did. He was very drawn to the students in class whose work seemed more contemporary and abstract. I didn’t know how to paint that way.

At the end of the quarter, my teacher called me into his office. We had all turned in our portfolios. I had no clue as to what was going to happen next. I entered his office. He was sitting behind his desk. The window behind his desk was open and you could see the students walking across campus. I remember sitting on the other side of his desk and looking out the window out of embarrassment. I couldn’t look him in the eye and I was feeling very anxious about what he was going say.

He opened his grade book and said “You have an F in my class.” He said it so matter of fact and without any feeling. I was speechless. He went on to say that because I had attended every class, he was going to change it to a D. I was stunned. “I’m really not sure why you’re even in college,” he told me. “You have absolutely no talent.” That was all he said to me that day but it was enough. I went back to my dorm and sobbed.

It was the last quarter of my first year. It was time to go home for the summer. I packed up my belongings to spend the summer at home. I never told my parents about that incident. I was so embarrassed. I spent my summer at home and when it came time to register for the next year, I told my parents I had decided not to go. I dropped out of college and that September accepted a proposal of marriage.

It would be nearly ten years before I ever picked up another paint brush. Neither my spirit nor my self esteem was strong enough to overcome those words. ….”you have absolutely no talent.”

I have told my students that story because I don’t want them to allow anyone to steal their dreams. And I tell all my sweet art students that there is NO BAD ART, JUST BAD ATTITUDES. I want them to be fearless with their creations and confident that they can do it. It might not be perfect. It might not be an award winning piece. But it is their creation and it is their artistic expression and that’s all that counts!

I love teaching art. I don’t have a degree. But over the years of teaching art at The Children’s Center, I have developed a teaching technique that works. Many of my students have gone on to win awards for their art and so have I. And while that experience with my college art teacher was sad. It was just one of many bumps in the road.

To teach children how to love art and provide them with the opportunity to experience the joys of creative expression is my dream now!