Comedian Billy Crystal has written a book. He was on Sunday Morning this morning talking about the one thing that most people don't talk about but should. And something many of us think about when we reach our sixties.......and that is death.
He wrote about a subject that Rick and I actually do talk about. And that is, who will go first? We joke about it. How else can you talk about it without sinking into an abyss of sadness? Rick says I should go first because I am oblivious to most things and life would be too hard for me. He seems to think that I wouldn't be able to know how to get out of the house, should he go first. He does work hard to keep everything around us in working order. So, he might be right on that one.
We have also discussed how we want to be buried...or not. And we joke about that, too...for all the same reasons as mentioned. We have both agreed that we want our deaths to be easy on our loved ones. We don't want a big fancy funeral or a big fancy coffin. We don't even want to be buried. We have both opted for cremation. It's easy. It's inexpensive and we won't be taking up precious land for a burial plot and a tombstone that someone is going to be expected to keep up.
I want my ashes to be spread among the wildflowers or made into some kind of neat stone that someone might pick up one day and take home...like the many unusual stones I've picked up and taken home over the years. Rick wants his ashes put in a mayonnaise jar and carried up to our cabin in the Ozarks and tossed over one of the many cliffs we've hiked. Rick jokingly tells me, he'll put my ashes in Toby's liter box. (Toby is one of our cats that obviously prefers Rick over me.) I guess in truth, we would both want to be tossed off a cliff or sprinkled over the creeks we have found so much pleasure in walking all these many years.
The truth is that everyone at some point should have this conversation. It's not like it's not going to happen.And if you can get past the sadness associated with it, it does feel good to know that someone knows what to do with you after you're gone even if they question what to do with you when you're here.
All kidding aside, what we do want is for our family and friends to celebrate our life with stories and memories that we all shared. We want laughter and love. We want tears of joy, not tears of sorrow.
And have a beer on us! Well, beer for me. A glass of iced tea for Rick. Everyone knows I turned out to be the lush in the family. So, maybe it's true that I wouldn't be able to find my way out of the house.
He wrote about a subject that Rick and I actually do talk about. And that is, who will go first? We joke about it. How else can you talk about it without sinking into an abyss of sadness? Rick says I should go first because I am oblivious to most things and life would be too hard for me. He seems to think that I wouldn't be able to know how to get out of the house, should he go first. He does work hard to keep everything around us in working order. So, he might be right on that one.
We have also discussed how we want to be buried...or not. And we joke about that, too...for all the same reasons as mentioned. We have both agreed that we want our deaths to be easy on our loved ones. We don't want a big fancy funeral or a big fancy coffin. We don't even want to be buried. We have both opted for cremation. It's easy. It's inexpensive and we won't be taking up precious land for a burial plot and a tombstone that someone is going to be expected to keep up.
I want my ashes to be spread among the wildflowers or made into some kind of neat stone that someone might pick up one day and take home...like the many unusual stones I've picked up and taken home over the years. Rick wants his ashes put in a mayonnaise jar and carried up to our cabin in the Ozarks and tossed over one of the many cliffs we've hiked. Rick jokingly tells me, he'll put my ashes in Toby's liter box. (Toby is one of our cats that obviously prefers Rick over me.) I guess in truth, we would both want to be tossed off a cliff or sprinkled over the creeks we have found so much pleasure in walking all these many years.
The truth is that everyone at some point should have this conversation. It's not like it's not going to happen.And if you can get past the sadness associated with it, it does feel good to know that someone knows what to do with you after you're gone even if they question what to do with you when you're here.
All kidding aside, what we do want is for our family and friends to celebrate our life with stories and memories that we all shared. We want laughter and love. We want tears of joy, not tears of sorrow.
And have a beer on us! Well, beer for me. A glass of iced tea for Rick. Everyone knows I turned out to be the lush in the family. So, maybe it's true that I wouldn't be able to find my way out of the house.
No worries. I've been secretly working on some weird science to keep the both of you alive for another century. Whether y'all like it or not.
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness, I agree on "the talk." We've done it and will carry it out the same way y'all decided. We don't want to tie up land either in a box that's supposed to preserve us. What for! Better to carry out energy further and feed trees, plants and whatever else.