Introducing the Old Hen

I’ll be 60 this December and I am trying to get comfortable with my old lady-ness. I stopped coloring my hair and let it all go gray.  I’ve been trying to figure out what kind of wardrobe I need to adopt.  I would be happy in just jeans and a chambray shirt but I realize that now that I’m old, I need to look a little more dignified and stately. I think. I haven’t made up my mind on this.

I was reading our local newspaper recently and noticed a photograph of three women who were in attendance at a local art gallery opening.  I read the cutline and I saw where they had identified one of the women as me.   I was surprised because I knew that neither of three women was me.  I was indeed at the gallery opening but I was pretty sure that I stayed away from cameras. I looked again because I knew two of the women in the photograph were friends of mine but the third one was some old, fat woman that I didn’t recognize.  I pulled the newspaper closer and squinted my eyes to get a better look.  “OH MY GOD, IT IS ME!....I WAS THE OLD, FAT WOMAN.”

I knew that getting old would come with some challenges.   Being comfortable in my own skin was not one that I thought I would have trouble with. I have been successful in my denial until recently. I didn’t think I would see the day when I would have trouble just putting on my underwear.   And you have no idea what a wrestling match it has become to scoop my boobs up so I can throw them into my sling. …once I find them.  It’s not funny! But you know, I have to laugh to keep from sinking into deep depression.  And I have been fighting depression from time to time and I have nothing to be depressed about. I have a wonderful life, a wonderful husband, a wonderful home, a wonderful son and wonderful friends. So what in the world would I have to be depressed about?  It was that question that made me look at my life and all my experiences both good and bad.  And it was then that I decided that I needed to write it down.  And not because I think I’ve got some great message for the world.  But I needed to write it down for me.   I’ve always told people that my life is an open book.  Well, now it is.  Good or bad, controversial or not, I am going to share with you some stories that make me laugh and some stories that make me mad as hell.  Whether you get joy out of them or not isn’t why I’m doing this. So, if I hit a nerve…know that you have been forewarned.